Thanks to Fred Whitehead for this. Anybody else waiting for That Headline?

My obsession with the news can be explained by this old Russian joke (which is another way to describe Trump too).

“A man in Moscow goes up to a newsstand and buys a newspaper…He then glances at the front page, then turns aside and tosses the whole newspaper straight into the trash.Next day, he turns up, and does the same thing. Buys it, glances at the front page, throws it in the trash. Next day, same thing.

The newsstand worker is increasingly puzzled, but doesn’t say anything. But eventually, after a couple of weeks of this, he can’t take it. “I’m sorry, friend, but I must ask: why do you buy the paper every day and then just look at the front page and throw it out?”

“Oh, I’m just checking for something.”

“OK, but: what are you checking for?”

“I’m checking for a particular obituary.”

“But sir, you don’t even open the newspaper! The obituaries aren’t even on the front page!”

“Oh, believe me, the one I’m waiting for will be.”